About a year ago (give or take a few months), I was wandering aimlessly through Ross, perusing the store’s very strange and very unorganized assortment of household items, when I saw something that stopped me dead in my tracks. It was amazing. It was ridiculous. It was perfect. It was a frog; a golden Buddha frog and I had to have it. No price was too great (as long as it was under twenty bucks that is) and I soon become the proud owner of the Kermit Buddha for approximately $7.99. Oh happy day.
I placed my Kermit Buddha in a location where it was sure to get the praise and recognition it deserved. Kermit Buddha found a home on the back of the toilet where he conveniently held matches in his hands for those people wishing to light candles in his honor. He lived there with great poise and dignity. He was the prized possession of the bathroom, proudly resting on the porcelain throne. He was magnificent.
But like most good things, the happiness of the Buddha frog had to end. Kermit Buddha’s reign over the hallway bathroom was abruptly ruined by tragedy. One morning it was discovered that Kermit Buddha had inexplicably been assassinated during the night. It was a dark day. Kermit Buddha lay in pieces on the back of the toilet, hastily and inaccurately put back together by the unknown perpetrator. There was no chance for survival. Not even super glue could have cured him. Kermit Buddha was dead.
For many months after the Frog Incident I was quite sad every time I walked into the hallway bathroom. It just was not the same without the golden frog to hold matches for me. It had lost its spark. But there was nothing to be done. No Ross I could find had any replacement Buddha Frog and I eventually gave up my search.
Yesterday, truly a day to remember, I found myself sleepily wandering through the aisles of Ross, absently looking for cheap treasures to decorate my apartment with, when once again I found myself frozen in my tracks. There on the shelf, a vision of gold meditation, sat my Buddha Frog. He was unbroken and just as brilliant as before and even better, this time he was only $6.99!!!
Buddha Frog Reincarnated proudly sits on top of my TV. He serves as an example of how meditation conquers death. He also is there to make people feel a tiny bit guilty about the amount of time spent watching classy TV shows, time which they should spend in mediation of the wonders of small golden frogs.
I placed my Kermit Buddha in a location where it was sure to get the praise and recognition it deserved. Kermit Buddha found a home on the back of the toilet where he conveniently held matches in his hands for those people wishing to light candles in his honor. He lived there with great poise and dignity. He was the prized possession of the bathroom, proudly resting on the porcelain throne. He was magnificent.
But like most good things, the happiness of the Buddha frog had to end. Kermit Buddha’s reign over the hallway bathroom was abruptly ruined by tragedy. One morning it was discovered that Kermit Buddha had inexplicably been assassinated during the night. It was a dark day. Kermit Buddha lay in pieces on the back of the toilet, hastily and inaccurately put back together by the unknown perpetrator. There was no chance for survival. Not even super glue could have cured him. Kermit Buddha was dead.
For many months after the Frog Incident I was quite sad every time I walked into the hallway bathroom. It just was not the same without the golden frog to hold matches for me. It had lost its spark. But there was nothing to be done. No Ross I could find had any replacement Buddha Frog and I eventually gave up my search.
Yesterday, truly a day to remember, I found myself sleepily wandering through the aisles of Ross, absently looking for cheap treasures to decorate my apartment with, when once again I found myself frozen in my tracks. There on the shelf, a vision of gold meditation, sat my Buddha Frog. He was unbroken and just as brilliant as before and even better, this time he was only $6.99!!!
Buddha Frog Reincarnated proudly sits on top of my TV. He serves as an example of how meditation conquers death. He also is there to make people feel a tiny bit guilty about the amount of time spent watching classy TV shows, time which they should spend in mediation of the wonders of small golden frogs.
Lol!!! He's back!!! I missed him so!
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