Picture of the Day

The Most Awesome Lost Bike Sign EVER.

The Tale of the Golden Kermit Buddha

About a year ago (give or take a few months), I was wandering aimlessly through Ross, perusing the store’s very strange and very unorganized assortment of household items, when I saw something that stopped me dead in my tracks. It was amazing. It was ridiculous. It was perfect. It was a frog; a golden Buddha frog and I had to have it. No price was too great (as long as it was under twenty bucks that is) and I soon become the proud owner of the Kermit Buddha for approximately $7.99. Oh happy day.

I placed my Kermit Buddha in a location where it was sure to get the praise and recognition it deserved. Kermit Buddha found a home on the back of the toilet where he conveniently held matches in his hands for those people wishing to light candles in his honor. He lived there with great poise and dignity. He was the prized possession of the bathroom, proudly resting on the porcelain throne. He was magnificent.

But like most good things, the happiness of the Buddha frog had to end. Kermit Buddha’s reign over the hallway bathroom was abruptly ruined by tragedy. One morning it was discovered that Kermit Buddha had inexplicably been assassinated during the night. It was a dark day. Kermit Buddha lay in pieces on the back of the toilet, hastily and inaccurately put back together by the unknown perpetrator. There was no chance for survival. Not even super glue could have cured him. Kermit Buddha was dead.

For many months after the Frog Incident I was quite sad every time I walked into the hallway bathroom. It just was not the same without the golden frog to hold matches for me. It had lost its spark. But there was nothing to be done. No Ross I could find had any replacement Buddha Frog and I eventually gave up my search.

Yesterday, truly a day to remember, I found myself sleepily wandering through the aisles of Ross, absently looking for cheap treasures to decorate my apartment with, when once again I found myself frozen in my tracks. There on the shelf, a vision of gold meditation, sat my Buddha Frog. He was unbroken and just as brilliant as before and even better, this time he was only $6.99!!!

Buddha Frog Reincarnated proudly sits on top of my TV. He serves as an example of how meditation conquers death. He also is there to make people feel a tiny bit guilty about the amount of time spent watching classy TV shows, time which they should spend in mediation of the wonders of small golden frogs.

Picture of the Day

Jumping off cliffs in Wales. In February. Maaybe not the smartest decision of my life...but definitely one to remember!

Invasion of Privacy Via Webcams: Fact or Fiction?

This just in: I have reason to believe that there are people in the world who are under the impression that their are other people in the world spying on them through the web cams of their shiny Macbooks. Is this paranoia of a very deep and very sad level? OR is there the distinct possibility that government agents are at this very moment watching your every move, laughing at the view of you and your three chins that appear when you lay in bed with your computer on your stomach? All I can say is this: people of the world who have webcams, beware! While government agents may technically have more important things to do with their time than watch you stare at your computer screen oh so attractively, who’s to say they won’t do it anyway?

The truth will set you free. Some famous person said that once I think.

THE REAL STORY


I have a confession to make. It is slightly embarrassing, thoroughly aggravating, and oddly motivating. There is a very specific reason as to why I have finally kicked the anti-blogging syndrome that set in the moment I returned home from England. It is a reason that is both horribly maddening and oddly liberating.

My Facebook locked me out.

Yes, it’s true, for some yet to be discovered reason, my wonderful facespace decided that my password no longer worked and thus refused me entry to the site. I have been severely information-deprived for almost a week now. The first few days were pretty hard—so much free time and no access to profiles of random strangers and/or friends I no longer know to stalk and check up on. I did not know what to do with myself. I may never know what all those people did last week. Oh, the horror.

Monday night I hit very low point. I was hacking into my sister’s account (an account I conveniently know the password to) in order to placate some of the stalking withdrawals. It helped a little. But it wasn’t enough. As she and I are not actually the same person, we do not have all the same friends, so many of my friends and/or people I would like to be friends with or simply want to look at pretty pretty pictures of are blocked from her viewing. While I know that there is a strange euphoria involved when stalking people online, it is soo much more rewarding when you actually know, or at least know of, the people whom you are passively reviewing, judging, and sighing over. Looking at info concerning people I really did not know at all, while entertaining for a while, made my cry a little bit for myself. Pathetic. I decided that stalking, just for the sake of stalking, was where I had to draw the line. No more! I am swearing off Facebook for good. Or, well, at least until my site starts working again.

You might ask why I did not simply reset my own password, because you know, that is what an intelligent human being might do. And I say, I did! I discovered that the help section of Facebook.com is in fact quite the opposite of what it claims to be. It is entirely unhelpful, if not useless all-together. I began by simply resetting the password. When two days passed and no new password arrived, I decided to send a more in depth problem report. When I received a confirmation email that said my “concern” had been filed, but another two days passed with no beacon of hope for my poor site, anger set it. I searched the entire site, digging around like a bloodhound for any sign of an email address I could send some raging hate mail to. I failed in this attempt. It was probably a good thing, as I am sure many of the things I would have said likely would have encouraged the receiver to actually delete my site entirely and say it was an accident instead of helping me. It would have made me feel better though I’m sure.

It was after all of this turmoil that I decided to do something productive with my stalking time that was no longer being used. I created a Twitter account. Twitter is the new cool thing to do, after all. I will love my Twitter as I loved my Facebook and my Twitter will love me back.

I very quickly came to the realization that Tweeting on Twitter does not take that long and gets boring quickly. Especially when you have no followers. Why will no one follow me? The idea of having followers can be taken two ways. One: in the sense of a cult, as in multitudes of people following one person who is stronger, more outspoken, opinionated, and overall more convincing at making people think he or she is cooler than the rest us or Two: being followed, as in oh my god someone is following me and I think that I am going to be kidnapped pretty soon. Personally, I prefer interpretation number one. Either way, being Followed through Tweets on Twitter sounds cool, but it apparently takes time to make a name for yourself. As I am trying to replace the instantly gratifying process of stalking people via their Facebook profiles, Twitter is not enough. Helpful, but not a sustaining form of online nourishment. It’s like a tasty snack that is only one, or two bites tops. Not Enough.

And that, my friends, is the real reason I have once again graced the Internet with my talented expertise and overall aptitude towards blogging like a pro. Feel free to thank my dead facebook page for my new found desire to share my life stories once again.

Picture of the Day

I have been struck by brilliance once again. Along with whatever snippets of inspired words I post here, I have decided to also post a Picture of the Day. Of the thousands of photos I have taken, there are a few that stand out for one reason or another. These photos are ones that I personally go back to time and again to appreciate. Whether it is because of the moment or light caught in the frame, the story behind the photo, or simply the hilarity of the pose, these captured flashes make me smile, laugh, cry, and sigh. So there you have it. Prepare to be impressed, or you know, entertained or bored to death, whichever you please.

To Begin, I will post a few...simply because I could not decide which photo was important enough to be photo numero uno.

Sitting next to the lake=amazing. No other explanation needed.

Frog's Leap Winery, Napa Valley California. Fun times with the girls enjoying spectacular views while sipping on amazing wines. Definitely a weekend to remember.


The aftermath of a New Years Eve party where someone let just a little confetti go loose inside.


Kensington Gardens, how I miss you...


Pensacola Beach. Long walks by the ocean are good for the soul.

I've got the gift of one liners

I have decided that it is officially time to reinstate the blog.
Be excited, be very excited.

While I realize life is somewhat less extraordinary when one is not gallivanting around fascinating countries, doing exciting things, surrounded by people who speak with charming accents (accents that are so much more entertaining and indubitably sexier than that of the everyday American), my reality is not completely lacking in things fascinating, entertaining, and charming. It has been recently brought to my attention that there are still wondrous exploits possible to blog on about. These exploits demand recognition. Here they will be discovered, experienced, analyzed, and shared.

Aside from the recording of exploits, I am not positive what the purpose of this blog will be. Maybe I will post this one time and never again. Maybe I will spew genius on a daily basis. Maybe said genius will change lives. Maybe I will become world-famous. Maybe the only person who will read this will be my dog. Actually, if that happens, I say amen! It's a miracle. I mean, wow, the first ever blogging-dog. It would be impressive.

No matter, my point here is this: sporadic moments of brilliance are a very likely possibility yet cannot be promised. As they cannot in any way be predicted, you should probably just check in every few minutes of every day, that way if I do happen to say something life changing and/or so beautifully poetic it evokes an onslaught of tears, you will be privy to it ASAP. These moments, moments of marvel if you will, should be cherished, as they are probably the closest thing to direct advice and messages from heaven you will ever experience. These are the only words of wisdom I can offer at this time. I pray you heed my advice.

I am deeply looking forward to our promising future together, a future of wondrous exploits and moments of marvel.